Boys in bands; they are intriguing characters. You watch them from a large crowd while they burst their passion for music in such a distinct and charming manner. The way they slam each beating drum or shred every single guitar string; you are instantly swooned, and it is not your fault.
I once fell for a boy in a band where I thought he wanted to get to know me for who I am. It seemed like we shared the same types of interests, from music taste to sense of humor, and it was going well. He would disappear every once in a while, but I did not think much of it. By the end of the day, when he did come around, all he sought were sexual desires. I am not naming him, nor am I naming his band, because he did not harm me in any physical way; however, the urge of wanting to get to know him no longer applied. I did not tolerate being called harsh names and I could not stand following his late schedules of lustful social media acts. If that person comes across reading this, you know who you are. I was not yours to use for your own pleasure. My point of this personal story is that I have seen it happen. I have seen these boys in the music scene take advantage of their highly admirable stance to prey on young women, and it is not okay. We all know it, we all have witnessed it, and we should all put a stop to it.
From the past few weeks, our Los Angeles/Orange County indie music scene has been exposed in acts of sexual assault and rape towards young women. Teenage girls and women have been coming out and sharing their traumatizing stories on their encounter with older men in the music industry; incidentally, their voices deserve to be heard.
On July 22nd, prominent record label, Burger Records from Fullerton, California, has recently shut down due to the allegations that have been circling around social media. Burger Records was founded by Lee Rickard and Sean Bohrman in 2007. They were one of the most influential DIY record labels who eventually became known worldwide. The record label was exposed on an Instagram account called “@lured_by_burger_records” where young women share their stories of sexual abuse and pedophilia by the workers, owners, and bands associated with Burger. It was publicly revealed that men of Burger Records would offer drugs and alcohol to teenage girls and lure them in the store’s storage shed, back rooms or tour vans. The disturbing acts of Burger records was broadcasted to the public and deliberately brought down as Rickard and Bohrman did not address their controversial issue in a rightful manner.
To read the experiences from some of the brave survivors who have shared their stories, follow: @empowering_la, @lured_by_burger_records, @lured_by_lolipop_records.
If you are a man, especially in the age range of 18 and above, do not go after young impressionable girls who still have a developing mind. Do not manipulate them into doing any sort of physical actions. Coercion is never okay. They are not yours to hold.
If you are in a band and have committed these actions, we are not trying to ruin careers or “cancel” bands. The main point of revealing names and stories is to give justice to survivors who have experienced sexual assault and rape. So please, acknowledge what you did wrong and contact that person who you personally destroyed. Apologize to them and show them your respect. This does not excuse you from your wrongful acts, nor does it fix the situation. Rather, it may give closure to the survivor to help them heal.
If you are a woman of any age and have experienced sexual assault, you are not alone. Do not be afraid to let out and share your experience. You deserve to be heard and we are all listening.
If you are reading this, whoever you are, we as a society need to not just prevent rape and sexual abuse, but rather, teach men how to get consent and not prey on women. No woman wants their choice to be taken away from them. No one wants their mental health to deteriorate from sexual misconduct or any sort of harmful physical act. If you are a person in a position of power, whether you are a man or a woman, it is not right to take advantage and abuse others sexually.
In our NothingMag team, we have partnered with an Orange County nonprofit organization called Fighting For Me to help fight against sexual abuse. Fighting For Me offers free counseling to men, women, and children who have experienced rape and sexual abuse. In addition, they also provide counseling to those who have committed the act of abuse as it is known that many abusers have also encountered the misconduct. Please take the time and consider making a donation to provide hope and healing in the lives of survivors. Click here to support and donate!
Visit rainn.org, the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline, or call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
