The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish is a dark and unforgettable novel. Katya Apekin’s debut novel is brilliantly structured as it utilizes several characters to recount the events that occur in the novel.
In short, The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish is a powerful tale of two tormented sisters that are longing for love from parents that are not capable of love. After 16-year-old Edie finds her mother barley alive from a suicide attempt, Edie, along with her sister Mae, is forced to move with their estranged father to New York.
While at first wary of their father, Mae and Edie’s once close relationships begin to crumble as loyalties are tested. While Edie remains loyal to Marianna (their mother) Mae, pulls towards Dennis (their father).
The following excerpt depicts Mae’s affection towards her father and to me, it was the beginning of what would become a strangely obsessive relationship between Mae and Dennis. So many factors play into their relationship. Mae never had a father figure, Mae’s mother had just tried to commit suicide, and Mae’s sister had just left New York to be with their mother… all of these things added up and set the stage for Mae and her father to have a relationship that is not typical.
One of the themes that Apekin’s novel carries throughout the novel is that of love vs obsession. There truly is a thin and crooked line between the two and I’d say that Mae’s relationship with her father is crossing over to the latter end of that theme.
Before I leave you with the passage, I strongly encourage you to read The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish. Trust me when I say that you won’t want to put it down! I would love to start a discussion with you once you do! DM me at @CorduroySoul on Instagram, let’s chat about it!
MAE
I’d be bored out of my mind, listening to Dad type and crumple pages all day and night. I’d play with the cat, choreograph a dance to the rhythm of the typewriter, open a book and start reading from the middle. None of these distractions could really hold my attention because I was so completely focused on him–I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
The highlights of my day would be the mealtimes when he’d come out of his room. For lunch, he’d take me to either the Thai restaurant around the corner or the Greek Gyro place across the street. Often, though, he’d be lost in a haze, and it hurt my feelings that he preferred the alternate reality of his book to spending time with me. He had not acted this way when Edie was around.
It was at the Thai restaurant after an entire meal had gone by without him saying a word, that I finally couldn’t contain myself any longer. “You loved her more than me,” I said as he stared off into space, our empty plates between us.
“Who?” he’d ask, blinking several times, momentarily brought back to me.
I’d meant Edie but I could see then that he was thinking about someone else.
I was upset. I pouted and gave him the silent treatment all afternoon but I don’t think he even noticed. When he’d pass me in the hallway on his way to the bathroom or to the kitchen, he’d look at me without really seeing me. Maybe this is how Mom had felt when she’d been with him. I understood how it could drive a person mad. I’d do stupid things to get his attention. I’d cut myself on purpose while slicing vegetables for our salad. He’d bandage me up, but so what? The tug of whatever was in his mind was much stronger than the scenes I was making. It’s like he was in an underwater cave, and I was splashing in the bathtub. If I wanted to be with him, I would also have to descend into the cave. And eventually, that is what I did.
